I must of been 15, I think he was 12, but I remember vividly my mom sitting us both down. I don’t remember what we were fighting about, but I do remember how she resolved it: “Someday, when your father and I are both gone, all you will have is each other. So you better figure out how to be friends now.”
Fast forward to this year. I forgot about my mom’s birthday because I was too busy planning for my brother’s. I also forgot about the anniversary of my mom’s death until my brother reminded me and we shared how we were feeling about it.
My mom is gone, but my relationship with my brother means so much more. We are not the same people we were as kids and have different perspectives on life, but only he had the same childhood as me. Only he knows the magic of waking up together on Christmas morning or riding in the back seat during family vacations. We went through difficulties, hardships that forced us to grow up too fast and realities we tried to run away from. On the other side, our family is not the same, but I can’t imagine going through it all without my brother. Your parents love you till the end, but your siblings are there for life.
So we did it, we made it nine years without mom. She would be proud of us. Not just because we are friends, but because we are living life and supporting one another.
Circa 2009
“Our parents leave us too early, our spouse and children come along too late. Our siblings are the only ones who are with us for the entire ride.” – Jeffrey Kluger
(TedTalk on Siblings: https://youtu.be/aFBIPO-P7LM)
2 thoughts on “Once Your Parent(s) Are Gone”
denniswoodsd
I miss my cousin every day. Whether we spoke frequently or were caught up in life, we cherished our conversations and shared memories of childhood. She was there for me in many ways, and even through forging a path of understanding as I came out, we cared deeply. Her tenacity in finding ways to battle cancer in order to remain earth-side for her kids was inspiring. She made every day a celebration of life and family, and I admire the lives forged by my niece and nephew in the wake of her departure. I feel blessed to have been in closer contact with them this year and knowing how proud of them she is. Rest in Heavenly peace, cousin.
Karlie Bigham
She loved you like a brother and often would share stories from your childhood with us kids. Thank you for sharing, Dennis!