At the beginning of 2007, mom was half-way through chemo. All her treatment at this point was leading to surgery. Everything was so new to her. Everything was new to us. Cancer completely shook our world! As a family, we knew what was in our future, but we didn’t know what to expect. In our weakness, all we could do was depend upon God. He saw us through our darkest days then, as he continues to do now.
O Spirit of God,
Help my infirmities;
When I am pressed down with a load of sorrow, perplexed and knowing not what to do, slandered and persecuted,
made to feel the weight of the cross, help me, I pray thee.
If thou seest in me any wrong thing in me, any wrong thing encouraged, any evil desire cherished,
any delight that is not thy delight, any habit that grieves thee, any nest of sin in my heart,
then grant me the kiss of forgiveness, and teach my feet to walk the way of thy commandments.
Deliver me from carking care, and make me a happy, holy person;
help me to walk the separated life with firm and brave step, and to wrestle successfully against weakness;
teach me to laud, adore, and magnify thee, with the music of heaven,
and make me a perfume of praiseful gratitude to thee.
I do not crouch at thy feet as a slave before a tyrant, but exult before thee as a daughter with a father.
Give me power to live as thy child in all my actions, and to exercise sonship by conquering self.
Preserve me from the intoxication that come of prosperity;
sober me when I am glad with a joy that comes not form thee.
Lead me safely on to the eternal kingdom, not asking whether the road be rough or smooth.
I request only to see the face of him I love, to be content with bread to eat,
if I can be brought to thy house in peace.
(“Weakness”, The Valley of Vision)
I am so very thankful I felt marvelous for Christmas and New Year’s Day, which was God’s special gift to me this year. I was concerned that I’d miss Christmas this year, but realize the day when Salvation was revealed so many years ago…in a humble feed trough…revealed to people of little merit…God wanting to be with us…continues even now. I pray God be with you throughout this new year.
This last chemo wasn’t so great, but then, how can I appreciate the sunshine without the storm? God sustained me and I am feeling better now. I will be heading up to Portland to have my rectal tumor restaged on Friday, to make sure that the chemo is shrinking it as well. If not, then the doctor will add radiation to the chemotherapy. Please pray that the chemo is shrinking this tumor.
I am half way done with chemo. Still have a head of hair; blood work is all good, tumor in the liver is shrinking, heart being reshaped all the time through God’s good plan. I have much to be thankful for.
I will be back in town late night on the 15th and then chemo again on the 16th. Please pray that this chemo cycle will be easier on me. I will let you know the results of the test in Portland as soon as I am able to get back online post chemo. It seems to take me a week to feel better. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers on my behalf. I am blessed beyond measure.
For those of you who are going through some trial of your own, I pray that the following scriptures will bless you as they have me. For those that don’t know the Lord, I pray that you will see how precious you are in his sight and how very near he is to you right now. May we all hope in him alone.
“For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)
“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.’
Bring out the people who are blind, yet have eyes, who are deaf, yet have ears! All the nations gather together, and the peoples assemble. Who among them can declare this, and show us the former things? Let them bring their witnesses to prove them right, and let them hear and say, It is true. ‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me. I, I am the Lord, and besides me there is no savior. I declared and saved and proclaimed, when there was no strange god among you; and you are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I am God. Also henceforth I am he; there is none who can deliver from my hand; I work, and who can turn it back?’
Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘For your sake I send to Babylon and bring them all down as fugitives, even the Chaldeans, in the ships in which they rejoice. I am the Lord, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King.’
Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters, who brings forth chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick: ‘Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.
‘Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob; but you have been weary of me, O Israel! You have not brought me your sheep for burnt offerings, or honored me with your sacrifices. I have not burdened you with offerings, or wearied you with frankincense. You have not bought me sweet cane with money, or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices. But you have burdened me with your sins; you have wearied me with your iniquities.
‘I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Put me in remembrance; let us argue together; set forth your case, that you may be proved right. Your first father sinned, and your mediators transgressed against me. Therefore I will profane the princes of the sanctuary, and deliver Jacob to utter destruction and Israel to reviling.’” (Isaiah 43)
Solo Christo! (By Christ’s work alone we are saved)
January 9, 2007