Mother’s Day really doesn’t bother me, if I’m honest. The holiday really isn’t that big a deal in my mind. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on getting my mom flowers and writing a card. What I do miss is the other ordinary mother-daughter stuff.
I miss what we had: Midnight conversations on the couch, Downton Abbey marathons, sharing our favorite books, meal planning together, inside jokes, a built-in shopping buddy, a shoulder to cry on, etc.
I miss what we wont have: Conversations about job opportunities, binge watching a Netflix series, planning a wedding together, phone calls with, “Mom, how do I . . . ?”, bringing a guy home, someone to hear all my “adulting woes”, calling her Grandma . . .
In many ways my mom and I had a “Gilmore Girls” relationship. Although we were not close in age, my mom was my best friend. I didn’t like her much at 13 (which meant my mom was doing something right), but into my late teens, at some point our relationship turned into friendship. It was probably more of a personality difference, but my mom would often say, “Karlie, sometimes I feel like you’re more of the parent than I am.”
Even if it was only for a short time, I got to know my mom as an equal. She was wiser and had more life experience than me, but I got to know Laurie the person, not just the parent.
To this day, I am still learning about my mom. Mistakes she made, the life she had before me, and the impact she had on me as a person. I’m also learning what it’s like to live without her. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her, but I also wouldn’t be the same if she was still here.
I don’t have a mom this mothers day, but that’s okay. It’s part of who I am but not who I am. I wish my mom got to see who I am now, how far I’ve come, and what I someday will be. I never had to question if my mom was proud of me, but I still want to make her proud. The only way I know how to do that is by living everyday for Christ. He was the center of our relationship, greater than any mother-daughter bond.
So be grateful for your parents, and by honoring them you show love to your Heavenly Father, who will never leave you.